Thursday, February 19, 2009

From the Desk of the Editor-In-Chief, BobbleheadBen

Wecome to the DMI Canton Cow Review! This has been long in coming (TWSS) but at last it is finally here. I want to first apologise to everyone for how dreadfully long it has taken for me to get around to this (and if anyone else would like to do it, or at least assist let me know ;) ). Some of the information which is to follow will be dated such as our RM Statement, but hopefully you'll still be able to glean some enjoyment from the newsletter.

For those of you who don't know me, you either haven't been in the branch long, or I've been absent too much. Last year I was in the running to become the winner of the Schrute Farms Review task, if it weren't for kenoz...kenoz. Just kidding he is a great guy and had a great review. I enjoy reading, night hikes while camping and horsehunts, but not really on that last one. As is apparent I am a chronic procrastinatior, but an avid fan of The Office. I could be wrong but I believe that I have the longest commute to Canton, being that I live in Couer d'Alene, ID. Enough about myself, on to the newsletter! Also HAPPY OFFICE THURDAY!!!!!!!

From the Desk of the RM, Mary Swanson (dated 12/18/08, some content has been edited to stay current)

Hello to all of the Canton branch! The old newsletter is getting another go for 2.0 and so much has happened since the last one! Last season ended strong for Canton ending third in earnings gaining everyone a Dundie for their desk. We had a lot to live up to from last season and so far so good!

With the new inactive firing policy in effect this time, things were shaken up pretty good. Of course though, Canton has come through and ended up jumping a few spots to get back to our third position. We are third in employee numbers and have so many great earners! We now have a new logo, an RM that's pretty much amazing ;), and lots of new Dundie, Employee of the Week, and task winners. Things are just running smoothly in general. Our forum is an extremely active place that has managed to be both informative and fun.

It's almost so crazy that I think our branch is one of the few that could benefit from having subforums within our own branch forum. The number of submissions for the tasks has been good and there have been some really great ones. We have some very creative people out there. Most importantly, we just have such a happy bunch of COWs! Canton is such a special branch because of its people. Co-workers start to feel like actual friends here rather than just virtual co-workers which is a rare thing. It's not hard to fit in here and you really can get as little or as very much as you want out of it.

I'm so glad to be part of it and am honored to be representing Canton!. Currently we're working on having put together our first group task for 2.0 and I'm very excited about how many chose to contribute. There are a lot of branches that have active RMs but not enough people to help complete the sections or an RM that's absent to even submit anything. Luckily Canton always has its act together. We've had some really great new hires lately as well. It's nice to see so many joining us and catching the fever right away!Canton is doing great but there's always room for improvement to get better and better! Lets really try to keep our spot in the top 3. G O C A N T O N ! ! !

Fun & Games by Bearkatt (unfortunately no longer an employee :( so hopefully you can find the answer)

A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?

Discuss it on the forum :)

A Little Bit of Clemedia For Everyone ;) by Clemedia

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
It's amblyopia.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout,
That's a moray.

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week; please tip your waitresses--and drive carefully.

Chefs of Canton

For this newsletter we have 3 recipies for your culinary pleasure: 5 Minute Butterscoth Bars by NiftieGifties, Ham with Pasta and Peas by mmclark, and T-bone’s Super Easy, Super Yummy Pineapple Pork Chops by Kirz10.

5 Minute Butterscotch Bars

4 cups Rice Krispies
1 11oz. bag butterscotch chips2
tablespoons peanut butter

In a large pot, melt butterscotch chips and peanut butter, stirring often with a wooden spoon. Once the mixture is smooth, remove from heat, add Rice Krispies, and stir. Once the cereal is completely covered, put the mixture into a pan (I find a 9"x9" pan to work well, but you can also use a 9"x13" if you would like the bars a little thinner). Let them cool, and then cut.

Ham with Pasta and Peas

2-3 cups cooked cubed leftover ham
1 small onion chopped
5 or 6 white mushrooms, sliced
(optional)2-3 tbsp butter
2-3 tbsp flourfew splashes of wine (white or zinfandel – whatever you’re drinking, also optional)
1 can chicken broth1-2 cups frozen peaspepper (taste before you salt – the ham gives plenty)
dash of nutmeg (1/2 tsp or less)
splash of milk or cream
½-1 lb cooked pasta of choice

Melt butter in large pan. Saute onions and mushrooms until onions are clear and mushrooms begin to brown. Add flour and stir well for 1 minute. Add wine, stir and let it cook off a bit. Add chicken broth & milk – stir until combined. Add ham & peas – simmer together until ham is heated and peas are cooked. Toss pasta in and stir until well coated and combined. Add parmesan cheese if you like (my husband adds parmesan cheese to everything…) I don’t usually measure things, so these are my best guesses. Less than ½ hour from start to table. Heats up GREAT as leftovers the next day. Enjoy!!

T-bone’s Super Easy, Super Yummy Pineapple Pork Chops

Boneless pork chops
Store-bought marinade such as Teriyaki or Sesame Ginger
Fresh sliced pineapple (or you can use canned slices)
Brown sugar

· Marinate pork chops according to package directions
· Preheat oven to 350
· Place marinated pork chops in baking dish
· Arrange pineapple slices on top of each chop (I use 2-3 slices per chop)
· Generously sprinkle brown sugar over pork chops
· Bake 25-30 minutes (adjust depending on thickness of your chops)
· Serve with rice and veggies of your choosing (we like whole green beans with fresh red pepper)

Thank you to everyone for contributing these recipies. Hopefully we'll continue to get more and more recipies to add to our collections and claim as our own ;)

TWSS Moments


OK, my 15 year old is an office addict. So two weeks ago shes in her AP English lit class, and the teacher and a student was hanging their mobiles (don't ask) from the ceiling in their portable. She (the student helper) was standing on top of a desk trying to adjust the clips into the ceiling and the desk was wobbly, and the teacher makes mention that maybe she should get down since she was so unstead. The student then says "I didn't know when I got on it, it was going to wiggle so much underneath me." to which Bree, my teenage big mouth replies "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" She ended up with a reminder about things that are and are NOT appropriate.


I was discussing teeth-grinding with another co-worker and she mentioned she slept with a mouth guard, as do I. Knowing there are different types of mouth guards, I asked her what kind she had. After describing it to me as one of the softer models, she asked about mine. After I described it to her she said, "Oh, it must be uncomfortable biting on the hard one." TWSS!

P.S. Forgot to mention that it's me with the "hard" mouth guard!

A Note on TWSS Appropriateness:

Our first TWSS Moment share to us by booze_crusier got me to thinking. Although we of the Office grown variety have an appreciation, and uncontrollable need, to utter "that's what she said!" not everyone appreciates our sophisticated taste. Believe it or not, not all situations are appropriate, or safe to utter TWSS! which leads me to share one of my secrets of the trade. Codewords have been useful for hundreds if not thousands of years (statistics taken from the people who brought you Using Crack vs. Reading A Book To Your Children).

The codeword that myself and my friends use is four, simply because TWSS is four words and it sounds like something related to golf, and ultimately goes unnoticed by those unfamiliar with the codeword. So it may be hard, you may really have to bear down, and it may be tough to pull off (4,4,4) but do it for the children so that they don;t have to be given reminders of what is and isn't "appropriate" (BTW an AP English teacher had a problem with that? COME ON! They make the students read books more inappropriate than that...I digress).

Stolen From OfficeTally

I must say that this was too good to pass up and is along the same line of thought as BC's TWSS experience.

Also here is the link to a full length version of Ryan Started The Fire. I don't know how to embed videos on here yet which is one more reason I need help :)
Bring Your Daughter's Work To The Newsletter...(You Come Up With Smething Better Lol)
So at the begging and pleading of Clemedia (you might've seen the forum post, but there were also about 56 e-mails as well ;) )here is the link to her daughter's video entitled "Quickfingers":
Remember to rate it and add it to your favorites :)
That thus ends the first edition of The Canton Cow Review. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together, once I finally had the time.

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