Number of employees:
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MOST COMMON NAME USED: Wendy
NICKNAMES: Clem, Clemidia, Princess, Wenny
BIRTH DATE: February 13Th
ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius
PETS: My part-Himalayan/part- Detroit ghetto cat, Willow. Yes, she’s a walking attitude with blue eyes.
STUFFED ANIMALS: My road-kill kitty that I found in Charleston, SC. It looks like a sleeping cat, and I try to make Willow feel affectionate toward me by petting it. She’s way smarter than me.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUIJA BOARDS?: Someday, I will learn to spell it. Mostly, I’m too klutzy to not knock the planchette off the board.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?: “Ye gods! Call me when it’s noon—and point me toward the toilet.”
PIERCINGS, TATTOOS, or SCARS?: Yes. Pierced ears and scrotum. A million scars, some involving surgeries, some involving “debacles.” Some legal.
INTERESTING STORIES THAT ACCOMPANY SCARS: Oh, no you don’t. Some day, they will all be in my book. It will also feature pop-up scars and boobs. And scratch-and-sniff stuff. Heh.
SUMMER OR WINTER? I HATE winter, so any other season is better. But I also hate humidity and bugs and when my underwear sticks in heat. I’m just sayin’…
GOLD OR SILVER? DIAMONDS!! White gold? I have a lot of both, though, and wear jewelry a lot. I’m a girly-girl.
PICK A SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOU: “Windy.” “Who’s peeking out from under the stairway, etc.etc.” I’M A PEEPER!!
HAVE YOU BEEN TOILET PAPERING? Oh, honey, toilet paper is my life. And, much worse…
HAVE YOU BEEN TOILET PAPERED? And egged, and soaped, and waxed, and plastic-forked…shall I go on?
PLANT: I kill them, but I love them. I plant silk flowers. Really. They DON’T “LEAVE ME.” I don’t like it when things LEAVE ME. Sometimes, they blow away, though…
RED: Mmm. Cherry-flavored.
DRY: My humor. Not my pants.
JELLY: Calvin Coolidge. He liked petroleum jelly rubbed on his head while he ate breakfast. Really.
BARN: Cool wood for crafts.
??WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE??
...SANDWICH FILLING: Tuna-fish with green onions, mayo, and seasoning.
...MEMORY? My children when they were small, already potty-trained and not throwing up. When they still liked me.
...COLOGNE? “Wicker,” by Prince Matchebelli, which they haven’t made for about 40 years. And “Morning Dew,” by Annie Oakley.
...PERFUME? My current one—and no one will believe this, but it’s called “Lick Me All Over.” It’s kinda vanilla/cherry/slightly floral.
...MOVIE(S)? Yanks, Backstreet, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Office Space, and many more comedies.
...QUOTE FROM A MOVIE? “I like pizza!!” (Multiplicity).
...QUOTE? “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” (Blanche Dubois, A Streetcar Named Desire.) It’s my mantra.
...HOLIDAY? Thanksgiving. I’m all about the food! :P
...TOOTHPASTE? I only have one tooth. Thanks a lot. Sensodyne. Fresh Mint Gel. Happy now?!
...COLOR? Periwinkle blue and peach. Not together—unless in a sunset.
...SOUND(S)? Giggling children. Waves lapping on shore. PEACE AND QUIET. My car starting in the inner city…
...SMELL(S)? Roasting turkey or chicken, Italian food with garlic, bread baking, cleanliness.
...FOOD? Seafood (not oysters), medium-rare fillet, Italian, CHOCOLATE.
...DRINK? Water. Flavored lemonade.
...SONG OF THE MOMENT? Anything by ELO.- and most by Journey.
...LOVE SONG? Most of Norah Jones’ first CD.
...SESAME STREET CHARACTER? Cookie Monster. I understand him.
WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? Depends. J
IF YOU COULD MAKE OUT WITH ANYONE IN THE WORLD WHO WOULD IT BE? Richard Gere. And Cookie Monster. A 3-way. Shut up.
LAST NOVEL YOU READ: Sylvia Browne’s Past Lives, Future Healing.
DO YOU HAVE A LAVA LAMP? Newp—and never had one the FIRST time they were “in.”
CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? No.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? HEY!!::sigh:: No.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SKINNY DIPPING? I don’t think so. I’d remember, right?
WHAT'S ON YOUR DESKTOP BACKROUND? Holly berries I captured on one machine; a mountain I shot on the way out here on the other. I killed and skinned it…
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Half-full, babay!!
WHICH THE OFFICE CHARACTER ARE YOU MOST LIKE AND WHY?
Jim. I am a total jokester—yet a hopeless romantic. And, I hate Charles Minor.
Recipe Of The Week:
Brigadeiros (Little Balls of Love)
A Recipe in honor of Clem.
2 cans of condensed milk 1 stick of butter 1 cup chocolate powder (sweetened) 1 cup of chocolate sprinkles Mini cupcake holders or similar packaging.
In a saucepan, melt half of the butter. When melted, add the condensed milk and chocolate powder and mix well and simmer over low heat for about 15 minutes until the mix achieves the right consistency (this happens when you pass the spoon across the middle of the pan and the space you created stays for a few seconds). Turn off the heat and set aside.
Prepare your work station. We recommend covering a table surface with newspaper. On this place a large plate or tray and a bowl. Fill the bowl with the chocolate sprinkles. Also, put the remaining butter on a small plate which provides easy access.
When the chocolate mixture has cooled for about ten minutes and is warm enough to handle, bring the saucepan to your workstation. Butter your hands thoroughly. Pick out a small bit of the mixture from the pan using your thumb, forefinger and middle finger. Roll this into a ball using both hands and toss into the bowl of sprinkles. Roll the ball in the sprinkles until it is coated and then place into one of the mini-cupcake holders or directly onto your tray or plate. Repeat until you've finished the mixture buttering your hands as often as necessary to prevent the mixture from sticking to them.
Allow them to sit for about one hour at room temperature (if you refrigerate they will get hard and very sticky, like toffee).
Serves all the people who need some lovin’
Note: If you have just been dumped, We recommend you save your sprinkles and eat the whole mixture straight out of the pan with a wooden spoon while sitting in front of the TV watching "Gone with the Wind" or a Meg Ryan movie on your VCR.
Song Of the week:
Here I go again by Whitesnake
Sung by Phyllis in Season 2 Episode 9 Email surveillance
Listen to it and all previous songs of the week here: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/15782180875
Hope you all have a good week Cantonites, and a big Moo to ya
Assistant TO THE Editor in Chief