Friday, April 3, 2009

The First Newsletter From Sarah (Assistant TO THE Editor in Cheif)

Dunder Mifflin Canton Branch... the meaning of life..
Hello Everyone! My name is Sarah although many of you probably know me as cinderellas1shoo (my DMI moniker). It is my pleasure to bring you what is hopefully the first of many weekly newsletters. I really want to make these things big with weekly featured employees, task and forum updates all kinds of stuff, but before that all happens you guys have to read it!!!!

First I'd like to share a little background information on myself.

I am still very new to the DMI Canton, but in the real Canton I am fairly experienced. I was born in Arizona but I grew up in Canton, I graduated from Canton South High School, I live in Canton Township and I work in an Office in North Canton. Whew that's a lot of Canton. You can find more info on me and my other life at or you can check me out on twitter at justsarah_h. I love to Read and Write, I love vampires, kittens, bagels with sun dried tomato cream cheese from Panera, espresso and my dog Liberty Sue. I hope that reading this Newsletter every week brings everyone a little bit of joy, if so then Job well done :)

OK now to the business at hand!!!!

Canton Branch Stats:

  • Number of Employees: 272 (Currently 4th over all go us!!!)

  • Total SBs earned: 667,535

  • Average SBs per Employee: 2454 :(

  • Top 3 Employees: NiftyGifties, danarie00, Shunned78

  • Employee of the week: Pocoano40

  • Employee of the month: MurderCheckersChamp

  • New Employees:

  • Transferred in:

  • Transferred out:

(Sorry I forgot to copy the new hires and such before they reset for the week, next week I'll be better promise!!!)


Task 2.22 - 25 Random Things

View our Branch Submission below: Voting hasn't commenced yet but everyone get out there and spread the love for your branch, the folks who put this together worked very hard on this!!!!

Random Field 1: Canton co-hosted the famous LECOM office olympics of DMI 1.0.
Random Field 2: There ain’t no party like a Canton party because Canton's "That’s What She Said Pre-Resolution New Year’s Eve Party to Cure Homelessness" was a finalist for DMI's holiday party.

Random Field 3: Branch member booze_cruiser's winning desk item is now available in the DMI store.

Random Field 4: Canton awards weekly Dundies for its many outstanding members but still has the “Don’t Go in There After Him” Dundie to award.

Random Field 5: Canton’s Employee of the Week and Month winners not only get a desk certificate, but a spectacular plaque for their signatures as well.
Random Field 6: As it turns out, the Regional Manager is not actually fictional character Mary Swanson, and it creates much amusement as those unaware refer to him as a “her”.

Random Field 7: Of course Canton is a fun branch, it’s only two letters away from ScRanton!

Random Field 8: Canton has the “CoW” Committee of Welcoming. The CoWs greet our new employees with a big cow tongue lick!

Random Field 9: Most branch members do not actually live in Canton but rather commute from areas lacking an active branch.

Random Field 10: Canton has Wild Wednesday's at Chili's Bar and Grill aka, a weekly Dunderchat.

Random Field 11: FACT: a specific type of Beet Harvesting Machine was invented in Canton! It's called the "Canton Clipper."

Random Field 12: Canton is now the eighth largest city in Ohio-- suck it, Youngstown!

Random Field 13: Former President William McKinley was buried in Canton.

Random Field 14: When McKinley acquired Hawaii for the U.S. he planned to change its name to

Random Field 15: It has to be on here somewhere that Canton is home to the Pro Football Hall of Fame of course.

Random Field 16: Employees of Canton are proud of their advancement and have their own job-specific, humorous signs for their forum signatures

Random Field 17: Much like Dwight, Canton employees can have their very own bobbleheads.

Random Field 18: There are many other unfortunate Cantons without branches in Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Minnesota, South Dakota, New York, Michigan, Missouri, and Texas.

Random Field 19: Stephen Colbert referred to Canton, Ohio as "the good Canton".

Random Field 20: Canton workers have the nicest lawns in DMI because in 2008, Canton City Council approved jail sentences for residents with unkempt, shaggy lawns.

Random Field 21: Macy Gray is a Canton native. Her hair, however, is from California.

Random Field 22: In Canton, Ohio, you have one hour to report your missing tiger to authorities.
Random Field 23: Police in Canton, Ohio, arrested four men in March 2007, reasonably certain that one of them had swallowed a 2-carat ring worth about $30,000. After sifting through the toilets, police recovered the ring the next day, with the store's price tag still on it.

Random Field 24: Rock and Roll Hall of Famers the O'Jays are from Canton, so get on the Canton Love Train!

Random Field 25: Canton loves to make friends, have a great time, earn lots of Schrutebucks, and could always welcome a few new members to the mix!

Task 2.23 - Take A Risk:

Risk results turned out like this:

Monday risk takers were rewarded with a copy of Toby's manual for their desk.

Tuesday's Gamblers hit it big time with a big reward of 300 Sbs

Wednesday's bet was safe, too safe and if you picked this day like I did you got Nada!

Thursday bettors were rewarded with a small but better then Wednesday 100 Sbs and an invite to dance. ( I would have liked to dance)

Friday was the biggest crap shoot of them all and those who were the bravest and boldest of us all were....well i don't know they haven't got their emails yet. (Sorry I tried to wait)

Task 2.24 - There Oughta Be A Word:

This weeks new task is pretty straight forward. Choose one of the provided definitions, create your own word, use it in a sentence.

There will be a branch winner by vote and a corporate winner by vote all winning submissions will be added to the addictionary!!

Have fun with this one guys, put on your thinking caps!!!

My Word: Twitterface-spacer

Meaning: A co-worker who constantly updates their social networking site while at work. (noun)

Usage: Kelly is such a twitterface-spacer, she never gets any work done.

Canton cows put your thinking caps on, lets dominate this one!

What I learned in the Canton Forum this week.......
A "real" Job: Coffee2go got a new job last week congrats!
What Happened To Connie Bouve?, Any Idea: Connie B. is missing, possibly taken by werewolves or jealous spouse, any one with any info please contact us as soon as possible.

Office Episode Sweet 16, Vote Round 3: Voting continues on the Best Office Episode bracket if you haven't gotten in on this yet, please do, get your opinion heard, its not too late :)

Random Facts: It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!

Post A Joke!, Post a favorite joke to use for fun and profit - well maybe not profit: FasionPD loves the Buckeyes, Michigan....not so much

This Has Been Bothering Me For Some Time..., What episode?!: Ben Kingsley's photo was used in the Diwali episode (you can watch that episode here: )

The Office PC Game: Cinderellas1shoo (that's me ) would like to graciously share her The Office PC game with anyone who is interested.

Spring Is On The Way, First spring task you will complete?: Oxy clean dentures work to get crud off stuff

Funny Bumper Stickers..., If you've seen em, post em! : Always follow your dreams. Except for the one where you're naked in church.

Keep the forum going Canton Cows, everyone should post at least one new thread a week!!!

Its a great way to stay in touch and rack up those Sb's

Photo Of the Week:

Website of the week:

Get a Bobble head of yourself made here. A Real One!!!

"The Bobble Head is Me!!!"

Recipe of the week:

Pirate Fruit Salad
I think it’s delicious and also you have full rights to talk like a pirate whilst you eat it.
1 Apple
1 Orange
2 Rings of Pineapple
1 Banana
Some grapes
Any other fruit you enjoy like strawberries etc etc.
Rum Syrup:
4 tbsp water
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp rum
Add all the ingredients for the rum syrup into a pan and bring to the boil, set it on simmer for 2 minutes and let it cool down completely.
Peel and chop up your fruit to make a normal fruit salad. I suggest chopping up half the orange and squeezing the other half into the rum syrup. Add the syrup and mix well before placing into a leak-proof box and putting into the fridge. Make sure you remember it in the morning when you go to work and enjoy with a good round of “YAAAARRR!” and “Where HAS all the rum gone”?

Song Of The Week:

Get Ready for This by 2 Unlimited (Listen to it here

Featured in S02E17 Dwight's speech: plays when Michael and Dwight enter the auditorium (you can watch that episode here: hint: click skip ad)

Thanks Everyone!

I hope that you all enjoyed my first installment of the DMI Canton weekly newsletter. If anyone reads this any feedback would be appreciated.

Lets learn and share together Canton!!!


Sarah H.

Assistant To The Editor In Cheif

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